Extended Prayer

Rabbi Moshe Ben-Chaim

After asking my friend Gary to explain an area in Kaddish, I asked what Torah topics he was working on. He shared his current studies concerning prayer found in Talmud Brachos 32b:

Rabbi Ḥanin said that Rabbi Ḥanina said, “Anyone who prolongs his prayer is assured that his prayer does not return empty-handed.” From where do we derive this? From Moses our teacher, as it is stated that Moses said, “So I prayed to the Lord” (Deut. 9:26,27), and it is written thereafter, “And the Lord heard me that time as well” (Deut. 10:10).

But is that so? Didn’t Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba say that Rabbi Yoḥanan said, “Anyone who prolongs his prayer and expects it to be answered, will ultimately come to heartache (from being unanswered), as it is stated, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12). And what is the remedy for one afflicted with that heartache? He should engage in Torah study, as it is stated, “But a tree of life is desire fulfilled” (Proverbs 13:12), and tree of life is nothing other than Torah, as it is stated, “It is a tree of life to those who hold fast to it” (Proverbs 3:18). 

But the original contradiction is not a contradiction. Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba’s statement that one will suffer heartache refers to one who prolongs his prayer and expects it to be answered. But Rabbi Ḥanin’s statement that one who prolongs his prayer is praiseworthy refers to one who prolongs his prayer and does not expect it to be answered.

Gary wished to know how Torah is the remedy for one who confidently expects an answer to his prayer, and why is an expectation wrong? He explained that the flaw with expectation reflects a wrong value system: he seeks something other than Torah, explaining why he prays for it. But if he turns to Torah, this correct his values, as he experiences nothing more pleasurable than God’s wisdom. He then abandons praying for anything other than the basic support for a Torah lifestyle. He also realizes that his confidence in his elongated prayer (that he’ll be answered due to his devotion) the rabbis criticize as baseless, so he corrects this arrogance as well. His prior heartache based on confidence and desiring wrong objects—extended prayer of the wrong kind—then vanishes. 

What is the merit of extended prayer of the proper kind? A person who does not extend his prayer means he looks forward to completing it and returning quickly to the world of practicality. Everybody has needs and feels they will be addressed in proportion to their energies invested in their labors. Prayer delays one from engaging in practicality, they wrongly feel. But the Torah personality knows that God system of metaphysics and providence is what truly guides this practical world. He is more attached to what is more real and therefore extends his prayer which relates to the driving source of his practicality: God's providence. This same good trait is expressed by those who generously give charity: they don’t feel they are losing money, as God promises to reimburse such people. God is their reality, not practical mathematics.

What is meant by not being turned back “empty-handed?” This appears to be a response where God does not grant all one’s requests, but rather, a small portion, “he isn’t turned away with zero.” But why not grant all one’s needs? This is repeated in Tal. Rosh Hashanna 27b where God says when the Jews sin, they should recite the 13 attributes and “they wont be turned away empty-handed.” Meaning, they’ll gain some absolve, but not a full absolution of their sin. Perhaps if a person received everything he requested every time he prayed, there would be nothing driving one to reflect on his unanswered requests. He would undergo no introspection and no improvement in life. By God not supplying a person’s complete list of requests, one must then think into any impropriety he seeks. “Rabbi Yitzchak said God made all the matriarchs barren because He loves their prayers of the righteous” (Yevamos 64b). This means that at their outset, the matriarchs did not have the best attachment to children. By making them barren, God directed them all to reflect on the motives and improve their interest in children through prayer. For example, when Hannah finally told God she would dedicate a child to the temple, that is precisely when she became pregnant (Samuel I, 1:11).

King Solomon’s words are perfect: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a tree of life is desire fulfilled” (Proverbs 13:12). The king compares the wrong pursuits which God wont grant, thereby causing heartache, to the proper pursuit of Torah wisdom which is designed precisely to offer man the greatest fulfillment, “It is a tree of life to those who hold fast to it” (Proverbs 3:18). In a single verse, King Solomon teaches that all pursuits other than Torah study don’t offer satisfaction.