An Ugly Lesson

Rabbi Moshe Ben-Chaim

Reader: I just listened to an interview of a rabbi, who quoted a story in gemara. I am curious how you would explain this gemara: 

Rabbi Elazar was traveling after studying Torah. He was feeling very pleased with himself because of how much Torah he had learned. Along the way, he encountered a man who greeted him respectfully. Instead of returning the greeting, Rabbi Elazar said something very hurtful: “How ugly you are! Are all the people of your city as ugly as you?” The man responded with a powerful statement: “I don't know. But go and tell the Craftsman who made me how ugly the vessel is whom He created.

In other words, the ugly man was saying: “If you have a problem with how I look, take it up with Hashem. He is the One who created me.” This rabbi in the interview suggested that the sage may have been so spiritually elevated that he was shocked when he encountered ugliness. It was the first time he had seen an ugly person. 

Rabbi:  So what’s the rabbi’s lesson, that people get shocked by appearances? That’s not worthy of a gemara to record. I also don't see the connection between being spiritually perfected, and one's experience with beauty or ugliness, they seem to be two unrelated areas. Spiritual perfection has to do with internal values and not with the people who you meet that might be handsome or ugly. 

This rabbi you listened to on the interview did not read the entire gemara text, so his explanation cannot be correct. He did you and other listeners an injustice. Here is the full story, which, according to Rashi and Tosfos, might be midrash, allegory: 

The Sages further taught in praise of the reed: “A person should always be soft like a reed, and he should not be stiff like a cedar.” An incident occurred in which Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, came from Migdal Gedor, from his rabbi’s house, and he was riding on a donkey and strolling on the bank of the river. And he was very happy, and his head was swollen with pride because he had studied much Torah. 

He encountered an exceedingly ugly person, who said to him, “Greetings to you, my rabbi,” but Rabbi Elazar did not return his greeting. Instead, Rabbi Elazar said to him, “Worthless person, how ugly is this man. Are all the people of your city as ugly as you?” The man said to him, “I do not know, but you should go and say to the Craftsman Who made me, “How ugly is the vessel (person) you made.” When Rabbi Elazar realized that he had sinned, he descended from his donkey and prostrated himself before him, and he said to the man, “I have sinned against you; forgive me.” The man said to him, “I will not forgive you until you go to the Craftsman Who made me and say, “How ugly is the vessel you made.” Rabbi Elazar followed behind the man, trying to appease him, until they reached Rabbi Elazar’s city. The people of his city came out to greet him, saying to Rabbi Elazar, “Greetings to you, my rabbi, my rabbi, my master, my master.” The man said to them, “Who are you calling my rabbi, my rabbi?” They said to him, “To this man Rabbi Elazar who is walking behind you.” He said to them, “If this man is a rabbi, may there not be many like him among the Jewish people.” They asked him, “For what reason do you say this?” He said to them, “He did such and such to me.” They said to him, “Even so, forgive him, as he is a great Torah scholar.” He said to them, “For your sakes I forgive him, provided that he accepts upon himself not to become accustomed to behave like this.” Immediately, Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, entered the study hall and taught, “A person should always be soft like a reed and he should not be stiff like a cedar. And therefore, due to its gentle qualities, the reed merited that a quill is taken from it to write with it a Torah scroll, tefillin, and mezuzas (Taanis 20a-20b).

The gemara commences by Rabbi Elazar’s priding himself in his Torah while enjoying the riverbank beauty to enhance his pleasure in himself, and links this to his callous aggression towards an ugly man who pleasantly greeted him. What’s the significance of this contrast? 

The general lesson of the gemara is that even an intelligent person can be overcome by a poor character flaw. In specific, Rabbi Elazar was callous and aggressive towards a man who was nice to him and gave him respect. And this was on the heels of Rabbi Elazar priding himself on his great knowledge, then enjoying nature. What’s the dynamic of enjoying nature (riverbank stroll) while priding oneself? 

Apparently an internal feeling projects itself onto the external world. Why? When rejoicing in oneself, like all fantasies, one desires no interruption. Therefore Rabbi Elazar, after elated by much learning, converted a normal riverbank stroll into a “majestic scene.” He viewed it this way to sustain his state of great happiness and self pride. We now readily understand why Rabbi Elazar was so harsh to the ugly man, for he was undeniably gross, and that ugliness abruptly interrupted his euphoric state of mind. That euphoria, first enhanced by nature’s beauty then lost by nature’s ugliness, resulted in Rabbi Elazar’s aggression. This would be identical to a person receiving an award in front of a large group of people, and somebody walking up to the honored person and pouring water on his head. The high of being honored would come smashing down in embarrassment. Here too Rabbi Elazar’s high enhanced by nature’s beauty was abruptly stripped away by nature’s ugliness. 

The ugly man conditioned his forgiveness on Rabbi Elazar’s confession of accusing God of a poor creation. Meaning, Rabbi Elazar was wrong to focus on himself, when learning is truly to focus on God and His wisdom. That’s what the ugly man meant, that Rabbi Elazar should redirect his focus away from himself, and focus on God. With that correct perspective, Rabbi Elazar could not accuse God that He desires that certain people are ugly. A focus on God would prevent a person from such aggression, as God’s will overrides our own. 

Why did the ugly man finally forgive Rabbi Elazar? He did so as he took his own advice. For as God is to be the focus, he wanted the townspeople to feel good about Rabbi Elazar who taught about God, therefore he forgave Rabbi Elazar so the townspeople could feel good about his future teachings.