Intermarriage: Are You Contributing?


Moshe Ben-Chaim



If these statistics do not disturb you enough to make a change, then you contribute to the problem:

Intermarriage rate among American Jews: 52%

Jewish children of intermarriages raised Christian: 33%

Jewish children of intermarriages raised in dual religions: 25%


Q: Why do Jews intermarry?

A: They do not grasp the unique fundamentals of Judaism, or care for them. They also do not understand the errors of other religions.

Q: Why do Jews fail to understand these most vital matters?

A: They are not taught.



The Problem

Classes on Judaism’s Fundamental truths, and its distinction from all other religions, are still absent from school curriculums. While schools and yeshivas do a fine job teaching Hebrew, history, Jewish law, Torah, and Talmud, the subject most vital to insuring our youths’ sustained commitment to Judaism, is expelled from Hebrew schools and yeshivas. This institution-wide delinquency produces students – now parents – who remain ignorant of Judaism’s unique message. Although luckily married to a Jew, these parents have no sound arguments against intermarriage to offer their children, nor do they truly express strong opposition to intermarriage. They may feel this way due to the osmosis of American morals of religious equality. They might harbor a fear of losing their positions, if opinionated on religion. Before their children’s eyes and at work, Jews express complete acceptance of non-Jewish friends and colleagues and this suffocates true, Jewish values and constructive critique of the false religions. Jews fear their honesty with gentiles might dissolve those friendships: something valued more than insuring their children’s commitment to Judaism. This list of irrational and destructive values goes on.

But I wonder why Jews are so afraid to openly speak our view with other religionists. Not once have I heard any pope, priest, bishop, nun, or Christian or Catholic leader condemn the missionary work of countless organizations. So while these missionaries are successfully baptizing Jewish teens, stripping them bare of their Jewish identities and killing[1] off myriads of future Jewish generations, these teens’ parents are afraid to openly denounce those Christian or Catholic groups? That is unforgivable.

Where is our conviction in our Judaism and in our God? Other religions are quite clear about their negative position on Judaism, and their objective to convert Jews, despite their condemnation of anti-Semitism. Inactivity on this issue is inexcusable and contributes to the problem. Moses asked God why the Jews were deserving of bondage. Moses saved a Jew from a deadly beating, by killing the Egyptian assailant. That Jew subsequently informed on Moses to the Egyptian authorities, placing Moses life at risk. Rashi says this taught Moses why the Jews were punished in bondage. Moses understood the Jews corrupted state: they were allegiant to those who would even kill them. For this, the Jews suffered bondage for 210 years. Sadly, it appears this Jewish trait is alive and well, as no one speaks out against missionaries, but just the opposite: Jews fear saying anything negative about groups converting our youth.

Jewish youths are victimized: they are not taught the flaws of other religions in school; they never receive rational answers why they should “be Jewish”; which is compounded by the lack of answers at home and their parents’ social lives that entertain Jew and gentile alike. The result: literally tens of thousands of young Jews who view other religions no better or worse than Judaism. The question is no longer “Why is intermarriage so high?” but rather, “What’s wrong with intermarriage?”

Tragically, schools and parents are not taking this issue seriously. My sincere wish is that this destruction of Judaism and Jews is indelibly etched onto your minds and hearts as ‘real’, and disturbs you to the point, that after you finish reading this article, you literally get out of your chair and actively address this issue: call a meeting together with your school and yeshiva board members, and immediately add to the curriculum a fixed and mandatory class that educates Jewish children and teens in two areas: 1) Judaism’s Fundamentals, and 2) the flaws of the major religions. (See JewishTimes issues 116-126 as support material)

Our youth must comprehend the unique nature of Judaism as God’s exclusive religion: laws and ideas rooted in truths that benefit us at each turn. Our discomfort with some laws is solely based on our infantile desires that oppose them at first, not because they contain anything that harms us…God, who created us all for a good life, does not contradict Himself with “painful” laws.

Our youth must understand the lies and fabricated stories that the other religions proliferate. They must be taught that numbers does not prove a thing, so other religions whose adherents dwarf Jews, is of no consequence. Jews must know with clarity, that God gave the Torah to us...there was no other mass revelation except Sinai. God stated that Moses was the greatest prophet (Deut. 34:10); no one before or after him matches his level of perfection, or his authority. Therefore, Jesus’ and Mohammed’s claims that contradict Moses, cannot be divine, but are lies. And use the word “lies”. One must not cower from accusing others of lying, for if you do, then it is YOU who lies to your student or child. God commanded mankind to never add to, or subtract from His Torah. (Deut. 13:1) Thus, all religions but Judaism violate this command. Statements, like a “new covenant” (Jerem. 31:30) were never understood by God’s appointed prophets and sages to mean anything but His “renewed providence”, previously abandoned by God on account of the Jews’ sins. But the other religions use this phrase as support for their phony claim that God “renewed” His religion, evolving Judaism into “their” religion. Jewish leaders never endorsed any works of the New Testament as divine. But more to the point, God does not require a “renewal” of His system, as this implies ignorance on behalf of God: He is omniscient, knowing all future events. Therefore He need not revise His system later on due to “new” considerations He was unaware of.

Jews are the teachers and the only historically proven recipients of God’s Torah at Sinai. Since the Torah is never to be altered, added to or subtracted from…it is perfectly clear that the New Testament is not divinely inspired. Those originators claiming a prophetic directive to start their religions violate God’s words. They are false prophets deserving of death, as God states in Deuteronomy 18:20. Similarly, Christianity’s popular “proof” of Jesus’ Biblical mention in Isaiah 53:5, “He was pained because of our rebellious sins” is easily refuted: “he” refers to the nation of the Jews. This entire phrase “pained because of our rebellious sins” is what the ignorant nations assumed to be the cause of our pain, and is meant to expose their flawed thinking. Isaiah is quoting the false views of other nations, he is not stating a prophecy or fact as is distorted by Christians. But Christians jump at this portion claiming it to allude to Jesus, failing to realize that the Rabbis possess the proper methods of deciphering Torah, and not one Rabbi ever agreed with their corrupt interpretation. The Christians cannot teach the Rabbis how to learn our own Book; a Book, they admit WE received, and over which, we maintain exclusive authority and commentary.

Knowing these truths, our youth will be able to refute missionaries, and take greater pride in the fact that they have the answers. Their Judaism will flourish. It is the less fortunate Jewish student who has no answers, that succumbs to missionaries’ emotionally satisfying arguments. But the grim reality is that many Jewish students are “less fortunate”, as intermarriage is through the roof.

Our youth must be taught all of these vital lessons, and taught from an objective standpoint: the teacher’s or Rabbi’s goal in this class is not to accuse other individual religionists, but to uncover the fallacy of man-made systems of faith that mislead masses to lose their one chance at life. Our youth should appreciate that such a class is intended to steer them away from a life of lies, towards a life where truth is the most prized entity. They should be taught the Proof of Sinai, which is accepted as absolutely, historically true today; just as it was in 2448 when it occurred. And we must also accept as students any other human being desirous of learning God’s Torah. This is our obligation, as the HafTorah of Bereshis says so clearly.

Revelation at Sinai is true beyond any doubt, and unmatched by any other religion. The major religions do not contest that event, or the synonymous truth that God selected the Jew as His chosen people, chosen to teach our own, and all others. Surprisingly, the other religions fear tampering with the words of the Chumash – the “Old Testament” – but created new lies in the forms of Gospels, the Koran, et al. From their very support of the Chumash alone, we can disprove all religions…and we must disprove all religions so our youth gain a firm conviction in this truth: God gave only one religion, precisely, because there is only one “man”.

“Conviction” is our best ally in this fight against intermarriage. For no “faith” can replace conviction, and it is “conviction” in Judaism that we must transmit to our youth. Proof outweighs faith. This is why we have been addressing “Faith vs Proof” these past few weeks in these articles. Without proof and falsely defending Judaism as a “faith”, we have no argument whatsoever against those Jews wishing to intermarry. But with proof, our youth will be armed with all they need to remain firm in their Judaism.

We each have the responsibility for this generation, and to insure that future generations receive truth. If we do not act, then we are killing our children, for a life without Judaism, ends at the grave. But a life with Judaism is eternal.

With our lack of response to intermarriage, we deny God’s will, as if to say to God, “I do not care for Your wish to transmit Judaism, or whether Jews exist.” We must recognize and fear God’s institution of “Reward and Punishment”, one of Judaism’s Fundamentals and therefore recited in the Shima twice daily. Ignorance of this truth is certainly contributing to intermarriage.

If one is inactive when action is warranted, and available, one is certainly culpable.

Marrying someone non-Jewish denies God, His word, and proven realities. In an era where wealth abounds, and the focus of the Jew is material collection, success and fame, it is no wonder that children of these types will also gravitate and admire such a lifestyle. The reality of God’s plan becomes obscured, holidays and Sabbath trivial, as living in accord with real ideals does not make one rich or famous. We have successful created a society of Jews who truly are no different than any other culture. We can only blame ourselves for this horrendous rate of intermarriage.


Moving Forward

Take a positive step now and convene a meeting, talk to your principal, your Rosh Yeshiva, dean, fellow parents, Hillels, Young Israel councils and shuls, NCSY and USY leaders, and fellow students. If you are in college, convene with your peers on how to start programs to educate others, and commence outreach to non-religious Jews. Schools and yeshivas must establish mandatory classes on Judaism’s Fundamentals, and as Rashi urges (Deut. 18:9), include in these classes to dissection of the major religions, their idolatrous and imaginary beliefs, and their fabricated histories. Create printed materials so when confronted, each student may review the proofs of Judaism, and the refutations of other religions.

To be clear, our tolerance of intermarriage is fatally wrong for many reasons: it denies God’s command, it forfeits could-be Jewish souls, it creates lives of discord for children of mixed marriages, it reinforces religious deviance in us and others, and it displays our selection of ignorance over knowledge.

Assuming another person will act, alleviating your obligation to eliminate intermarriage as much as possible, is irresponsible and sinful. Each Jew must act to remedy this tragedy: “Kol Yisrael aravim zeh im zeh”, “All Jews are responsible for one another”. If we do not act, we contribute to this stoppable crime.

[1] “Killing future generations” must be understood. In no way do I mean that a child of a gentile mother and Jewish father (who is gentile by Jewish law) is any less important in God’s eyes, than a Jewish child. Adam, Eve, Noah Abraham and a host of other great individuals were not Jewish, yet God valued them more than other Jews. Our messiah is a descendant of a perfected gentile woman, Ruth the convert. So we see that God favors perfection, not lineage. God values a person who strives for truth, who spreads truth, and God abhors those who breathe lies and mislead His creations. Now, when I state that missionaries “kill future generations”, it is meant in the sense that as gentile child, the odds do not favor him being raised in God’s true religion, Judaism. As such, he will most probably follow false religions. Thereby, he loses his chance to have realized truth, and fulfilling his purpose. Of course, any child – gentile or Jew – who follows either the 7 Noachide laws or the 613 Torah commands, does in fact live in accord with God’s desire. So a gentile child has no inherent disadvantage: it is merely the circumstance he is thrown into being raised by gentile parents that might cause his irrevocable loss.