Letters July 2025 (part II)
Rabbi Moshe Ben-Chaim
Tisha B’Av: Our Generation is at Fault
Any generation in which the Temple is not rebuilt, it is considered as if that generation had itself destroyed the Temple (Talmud Yerushalmi, Yoma 11a).
This means today we deserve condemnation for the Temple’s absence. Now, as the Temples were destroyed due to idolatry and to baseless hatred, this indicates we share these sins, preventing the Temple’ rebuilding. In what manner are we idolatrous and aggressive?
Idolatry is not only bowing or sacrificing to stone gods, it includes all tendencies to project power on that which has no power, such as assuming amulets work, that man’s words are effective (as in blessings), superstitions, placing notes in walls and rabbis’ graves, and the like, all of which God prohibits openly in Torah. Even assuming a mezuzah protects is idolatrous, as it has no power: fire will consume it, and what cannot protect itself, cannot protect anything else, including man. It is the preponderance of such superstitious beliefs among Jews that drive acceptance, as insecure man seeking public approval will copy others, regardless of the foolishness.
Consider this: until we worship God alone, why should God rebuild His temple? Mass popularity does not make truth. Our greatest minds—Maimonides[1] and Meharsha[2]—condemned anyone placing power in a mezuza. And we reject such beliefs for 2 primary reasons: 1) there’s no evidence they work, and 2) God’s system of Reward and Punishment determines our fate. Nothing can interfere with God’s will to punish evildoers or reward the righteous. Yet, today’s Jews follow the masses and unfortunately, even leaders follow these superstitions, which violate Torah’s tenets.
Regarding aggression, we witness singles rejecting shidduchim when the proposed match doesn’t fit one’s own egotistical idiosyncrasies, and I don’t call them minhagim, because they are foolish. The frum world has lost its mind in this manner. They ignore God’s advice of Eliezer’s search for Rivkah’s kindness alone, and instead, foolish Jews today search for irrelevant frum clothing styles, wealth, shul denominations, twisted customs, and other social considerations, when they have no Torah value. Eliezer had no concern that Rivkah’s father was Lavan; he judged Rivkah on her own merit, as Torah says we must[3]. But no Jew today would follow Eliezer, and marry a girl who had a “Lavan” for a father, despite her own fine virtues. Today’s shidduch word commits social suicide, a self-imposed shidduch crisis.
And outside dating, one Jewish community casts aspersions on all others, both here and in Israel. In all these petty matters we find our baseless hatred.
So here we find the 2 sins that earned the Temples’ destruction, sins we must correct to earn the Temple’s rebuilding. Without correcting our sins, we can say “We want Moshiach now” repeatedly. But why should God send him and have him rebuild the Temple, unless we deserve him?
[1] Hilchos Mezuza, 5:4: “It is a common custom to write [God's name,] Shaddai, on the outside of a mezuzah opposite the empty space left between the two passages. There is no difficulty in this, since [the addition is made] outside.Those, however, who write the names of angels, other sacred names, verses, or forms, on the inside [of a mezuzah] are among those who do not have a portion in the world to come. Not only do these fools nullify the mitzvah, but furthermore, they make from a great mitzvah [which reflects] the unity of the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, the love of Him, and the service of Him, a talisman for their own benefit. They, in their foolish conception, think that this will help them regarding the vanities of the world.”
[2] Shulchan Aruch, in the Gilyon M’harsha, Yoreh Daah, 289, page 113 on the bottom, “If one affixes the mezuza for the reason of fulfilling the command, one may consider that as reward for doing so he will be watched by G-d. But, if one affixes the mezuza solely for protective reasons, it in fact has no guidance, and the mezuza will be as knives in his eyes.”
[3] “Fathers are not killed for their son’s sins, and sons are not killed for their fathers sins; each man in his own sin will be killed” (Deut. 24:16, Kings II 14:6)
Maimonides’ Golden Mean
Reader: In chapter 1 of Hilchos Dayos, Rambam says that we must attain the emotional midpoint; only catering to that which the body can't live without. Yet, in chapter 3 he seems to be critical of those who live an austere life of not pursuing pleasures. He writes, “The wise men commanded that one must restrain himself from only the matters which Torah restrains man,” implying that one shouldn't deprive oneself of permissible pleasures, like entertainment, wine, delicious fruits, etc. This appears to conflict with chapter 1 where he seems very strict, to only desire things that the body needs.
–Alex Kahgan
Rabbi: There's no contradiction. Chap.1 describes the positive character: select the middle road of all emotional spectrums, not gluttony and not starvation, not miserliness and not overspending. Remain equidistant from both poles. Chap. 3 warns not to veer from that middle road by going to the extremes through improper self-deprivation. But pleasures God made are to be enjoyed moderately, without excess. The rabbis don’t say to avoid sex, but to limit it.
Yahrtzeit
Reader: Whats the concept behind fasting or giving tzedaka on a parent’s yahrzeit?
–Howard S.
Rabbi: Yahrtzeit recalls a parent’s passing. There is greater identity with a parent than with others, so one may use this stronger realization of death as a day opportunity for teshuva. Recognizing our parents passing, we thereby reflect on our own mortality. Thereby we can release our fantasies of immortality that drive relentless attachment to earthly life and the pitfalls of sin through preoccupation with pleasures, fame, success and accomplishments. Recognizing life is not eternal, forces us to seek what is eternal. For only what is eternal has value.